WorkCycles is finally ready to open the kimono on these long-awaited, top secret Intergalactic Patrol Bikes. The Intergalactic Patrol is a cooperative project incorporating the WorkCycles (Holland) experience in practical workbikes with the latest technological innovations from Matsushita (aka National/Panasonic) in Japan.
These bicycles will be used both during travel such as on the Enterprise and Death Star and also on many habitable planets and moons including Alfdebaran, Naboo, Tatooine and throughout the Twelve Colonies. The Interglactic Patrol has been designed to fulfill a wide range of common applications including internal spaceship transport, planetary exploration, imperial patrol, maintenance of enchambered giant atomic animals, and fitness conditioning in low-gravity environments. A broad variety of accessories are being developed to enhance safety, convenience and enemy vaporizing firepower.
The Matsushita/WorkCycles Intergalactic Patrol is the first bicycle suitable for the unusual environments and tasks of intergalactic lifestyles. It was a task with many challenges and required navigating much uncharted territory in the field of industrial bicycles. Here are some examples:
Varying gravity conditions can make cycling very difficult. On the moon Endor with only one fifth the gravity of Earth even the smallest bump will send the cyclist flying. But on Alderaan with about twice earth’s gravity simply remaining upright is difficult on a standard bicycle. To make cycling possible in these situations the Intergalactic Patrol bike features computer controlled dual gyroscopic balancers that spin at 50,000rpm on a vertical axis with an adaptive learning, cantilevered yaw system to nonetheless enable rapid changes of direction… such as while in pursuit of imperial storm troopers. An added bonus is that the bicycle needs no kickstand because it remains vertical on its own.
Though the Intergalactic Patrol will primarily be ridden by humans, the uniforms and equipment of the various republics vary widely. Extensive ergonomic research was performed to enable safe cycling and operation of the gear, brake, navigation and indicator systems whether the rider is wearing flowing robes, plastic armor or jeans. There is also ample space on the baggage carriers for the requisite light sabers, lasers, phasers, tasers, masers, razors and perhaps a rain cape.
Not only is much of the Universe dark, light speed travel tends to diminish the effectiveness of headlamps. The Intergalactic Patrol solves these problems with advanced twin solid state hypermagnetically photon accelerated semicoherent ruby halide lamps. In fact this bicycle’s headlamps are so powerful that care must be taken in their use; In their highest setting (11) they will burn through almost any non-reflective surface not protected by a class B3 force field.
The images above show the Intergalactic Patrol cockpit including:
Lighting/phaser control on right handlebar grip
Speedometer/odometer at center of handlebar
Five-speed gearshift on top tube
Convenient pump or light saber storage
These images show some features from the rear end of the Intergalactic Patrol bicycle:
Taillamp array utilizing the same advanced lighting technology as the headlamps
Defensive high-power ruby phasers with self targeting
Rear wheel lock to keep troglodytes and other lowlifes at bay
the sad thing is that underneath all the layers of crap is what looks like a halfway decent bicycle, classically designed and sensibly equipped if cheaply built. very hard to find such bicycles new for less than large coin anymore, at least here in the US.
These bikes were made in the 70’s for schoolkids. I remember seeing one or two in the States as a kid – perhaps owned by a Japanese kid in the neighborhood. I figure if that silliness gets kids psyched to ride a bike then its a small concession. Really its just a couple toy robots worth of plastic.
[…] sollte ich mir auch ein Fahrrad besorgen, welches meinen Marktwert hebt. Vielleicht das Intergalactic Patrol Bike? Muss mich hier noch etwas umschauen. Oder doch ein Lastenrad in Amsterdam kaufen, weil […]
Looks cool. But one should spend the Intergalactic Patro at least a Electro Motor, to atract the cyber police officers. And to browse through the milkyway, its more than useful, especially when the computer controlled dual gyroscopic balancers are out of service during solar-cyber-storms 🙂
Eeeh, I doubt that; nobody drives in Portland, too much traffic. But there are a lot of bicyclists. Though on many of the major routes in the local cycleway network, traffic is getting bad enough that it wouldn’t surprise me if people give up riding because of too much bike traffic causing delays…
Paul, “nobody drives in Portland, too much traffic.” That’s a curious situation.
But anyhow, half a million Amsterdammers hop on their bikes every day in a city smaller in surface area than Portland and nobody’s complaining about the bicycle traffic jams. Portland has a long way to go before it’ll have too many cyclists.
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